Monday, August 31, 2009

Day 113 - Crazy Core

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I like this. I post a bottle that makes sense to me in terms of label and filler and let you all guess the connection I am making. Today's bottle was provided, again, by the most gorgeous, most charming, most gracious Stevie. It is filled with Crazy Core Skittles. To me, they taste just like normal Skittles, but in order to taste red you have to eat a yellow and in order to taste green you have to eat orange. It is kind of gimmicky, but worth the price. So why Crazy Core for this label?

Think about what you learned about the composition of the Earth. The crust, the mantle, the inner and outer core. Now think of the label; the rocks, the stone, the Earth. If you cannot make a connection by now you're crazy. Core of the Earth, the Crazy Core of the Skittle.

Meh, another bottle tomorrow and for the next 252 days,

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Day 112 - Dog Days

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Unlike yesterday's post, today's bottle shows up to class tardy for a reason. This bottle, filled with broken halves of number two pencils, marks the last night of my Summer vacation. Today, at this moment, I am waiting for my first class to start. I am on campus, in one of my school's computer labs, starring at a sign that encourages everyone to use the computers for school work only. Next to me someone is playing online poker. Behind me someone is cruising around on Facebook. Am I doing school work? No, but at least it looks like I am.

The cycle here is quite intricate, if I may be so bold as to say. The dog days of Summer, the number two pencils, fill in the bubbles completely and erase all other marks. In this bottle two opposing feelings. Summer and sun; relaxing, drinking, being care-free. Pencils and school; taking exams, homework, proofs. Non-Euclidean geometry.

Posting on campus in this fashion should provide me with an interesting amount of creative sauce. Just being here, surrounded by dozens of students working, or, at least, pretending to work sparks something. Watching the freshman, the newbies, flirt with one another, sweat, look around afraid, alone, and confused.


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Day 111 - Plent and Goody [EDIT]

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Although the picture came in on time, the post itself had to wait. I'd tell the whole story, but I'm not even sure I remember the details of last night. Not because I was drinking, because I wasn't, but my mind is still frazzled and spinning. Imagine driving in a foreign world, in the rain, not knowing where you are going and not being told where or when to turn until you've just about passed the drive, the street, the parking spot. Imagine being tailed by a cop after you've made sporadic lane changes because you were told to go right, no left, or was it right? Imagine your girlfriend discarding the remnants of a breath-mint out the window with said police car on your bumper.

After a trip in Wonderland I returned home to fill a bottle with Good and Plenty candies purchased for me by the aforementioned, breath-mint spitting, crazy direction giving girlfriend. I was able to get the picture online and planned on writing the description at her house on her laptop.

Turns out that her computer was still in Wonderland.

Sorry for the delay,

Friday, August 28, 2009

Day 110 - Slip n' Slide

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Let's just come right out and say it. Today's bottle is filled with liquid hand soap, Softsoap to be exact. The gelatinous, aqua-colored goo is another filler that looks exponentially better in real life. The tiny air bubbles suspended in the matrix are obviously what makes this bottle interesting.

Ah, I don't know. I wish there was more time in the day and I wish there were fewer things I still need to get done before waking up for work tomorrow. I better get going in case I forget to remember to do something.

Better post tomorrow, promise,

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 109 - SweeTarts

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You'll notice a couple things. Well, that is, you'll notice now that I've told you. You'll notice that the date stamp bears yesterdays date. You may also notice that the hosted image has the file name "Day 108". This was meant to be yesterday's bottle.

Last night I was thinking; thinking about romances, about life, about how vulnerable falling for someone feels. How being in a relationship, how asking someone to be in a relationship, takes a different kind of courage. You have to be willing to cut yourself open, show how you feel on the inside, risk ruining everything and leaving yourself psychologically scarred. I was thinking about this for a while, wrestling with myself to find the right words. I still can't find them. What is written here has not been filtered.

Trash; that's what they are. No respect. Non-caring, heartless, pathetic bags of trash. Heart-stealing, crass, soulless garbage. Insolent, insulting, infectious human waste. Liars. Black garbage bags.

They deserve better,

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Day 108 - [titled]

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This post lost the fight to sleeping medication. I had a hard time wording the post that was intended for this day and the Ambien was already carting me off to the Land of Nod. At the last minute, and in a bit of a fog, I photographed, uploaded, and posted this bottle. The picture may be a bit blurry, but I'll explain the details.

It is filled with green, plastic, Easter grass. You know? The kind that you found in your basket Easter morning. The kind that gets stuck to your hands, caught in the vacuum cleaner, tangled in the carpet.

Cows eat grass.

Good enough?,

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Day 107 - Fat Tuesday...and Wednesday, and Thursday...

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Mardi Gras. Fat Tuesday. Another excuse to over-indulge, drink, and act foolish. This last couple weeks of summer have been just that for me. Eating everything I want, hanging out with friends, not feeling guilty relaxing with beer after a hard day at work.

Filler = Mardi Gras style bead necklace
Connection = There's a peacock on the label, with a large, ornate fan of feathers. This reminded me of the masks, which sometimes feature this plumage, worn at Mardi Gras celebrations.

Lazy post today?


Monday, August 24, 2009

Day 106 - "Don't cross the streams"

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I feel like there is more nostalgia to this bottle than a paragraph could do justice. With that, let's just get the legal mumble-jumble and the boring yadda-yadda out of the way. If I infringe on any copyrights by using the term "Ghostbuster" or "psychomagnotheric slime" or "proton pack", I apologize. Now, the boring stuff - so today's bottle is filled with two different shampoos. Both are V05 brand. The first, filling the bottom half of the bottle, comes from the "Moisture Milks" line and has a strawberries and cream scent. The other shampoo, obviously filling the top half of the bottle, comes from the "Herbal Escapes" line and is "flavored" with pomegranate and grapeseed extract. On the label is a dog which appears to have just received a bath. I'm having this very peculiar urge to shampoo dogs...this feeling has lasted for a couple weeks now...odd.

Now the nostalgia. If you've seen Ghost Busters, raise your hand. If your fingertips are not waving excitably towards the ceiling, if you are not stretching your arm so hard that your butt isn't even touching the seat anymore, then stop reading here. Stop reading because this next part is not going to make sense. Stop reading because you should be on your way to your nearest video store or busy altering your Netflix queue. See this movie.

So, to those not deprived, remember the psychomagnotheric slime that would bubble and spit when insulted? Of course you do, the entire movie was based off this "mood slime". So here's where all this is relevant. The scene where Ray and Egon are insulting the slime, think about how it looked. All pink and bubbly. I couldn't help but see it when I was pouring this bottle.

Ray: "You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant disgusting blob!"
Egon: "You're nothing but an unstable short-chained molecule!"
Ray: "You foul obnoxious muck!"
Egon: "You have a weak electrochemical bond!"
Ray: "I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!"

Venkman: "This is what you do with your spare time?",

P.S. - Slime!

Mood slime, prior to insults, in the movie...
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My slime, post insults, in real life...
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It helps if you've seen the scene...

This is the extended cut where Venkman, played by Bill Murray, adds some less-than-PG words to the mix. Some big four-letter words in here, so listen with caution.

Oh, and P.P.S. - the above video is pretty much an audio clip with stills from the movie; annoying, yes, but it shows some of the bubbling action I was referring to.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Day 105 - Shredded

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Cats...what amazing creatures. In the grand scheme of things, what purpose do they serve? They won't stop any burglar, they won't wake you if your house is on fire, and they wouldn't give two squirts if Timmy fell in a well. They shed, shred, puke and pee on everything. And yet, despite being forced to pan through dirty sand for their excrement, we keep them in our homes. We treat them like royalty. Buy them toys, give them all the attention they beg for. All they have to do is eat, sleep, poop, and look cute and we're sold.

Today's bottle is filled with shredded paper. On the label a cat is basking in the sun, as cats do so well. The rug on which the feline rests appears to be either A) covered in cat hair, B) clawed, torn-up, shredded, etc. or C) all of the above. The shredded paper is in memorial of all the furniture, carpeting, upholstery, curtains, clothing, and other cat-scratch victims subject to the terrifying talons of a ferocious feline.


P.S. - Hard to have a post dedicated to cats without an homage to my own...

Oliver, a.k.a. "Ollie"
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Oscar, a.k.a. "Oscar Meyer"
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Oswald, a.k.a. "Ozzy", a.k.a. "Trouble-Maker"
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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Day 104 - Snap, Crackle, Pop

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I wanted something dark or edgy for this bottle given the rather edgy, dark, emo type teenager on the label, but this is the closest thing I could find in a pinch. Yes, they're dark considering they are darker in color and sure, you might consider them edgy in the sense that they don't conform to a common shape, but Cocoa Krispies are a little mainstream to be considered nihilistic. In a way it's poetic. Cocoa Krispies don't get the same attention as their more popular counterpart the Rice Krispies. They are off-beat in appearance and shape. They are the goth children of the Kellogg cereal family.

I wanted to say the connection had something to do with the word "snap" as in "snap, crackle, pop"; the sound Krispies make when immersed in milk. Also the names of the elvish mascots. Anyways, the snap is the sound and the elf and the kid on the label is snapping a picture...but this is extraneous to the dark and edgy connection.

A rather short and confusing post today considering it is the first day in a while that I wasn't in a rush to push out a bottle.

"Your life will be full of peace and happiness";
That's what the Jones cap told me today.

I believe it,

Friday, August 21, 2009

Day 103 - Milk n' Cookies [EDIT]

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Alright, so originally the idea of putting anything extremely capable of becoming rotten in a bottle was unimaginable; like meat, eggs, or milk. I had other ideas for this bottle when I drank it. Ideas for filler that would keep for as long as the other 102 bottles. But, as previous posts have indicated, stuff happens. Things come up and time becomes scarce. This bottle was filled on a whim, photographed, and posted within a ten minute span of time.

I call it the first ever Jones-a-Day science experiment. The bottle full of 1/2%, low-fat milk is currently sitting in my mini-fridge. Come the 22nd of this month, the "sell by" date, it will be wrapped in, from what I am guesstimating, seventeen layers of plastic wrap, a handful of Zip-Lock bags, and probably a trash bag or two. Finish it off with a roll-and-a-half of duct tape and we'll bury the bottle in a shoebox in the backyard. 261 days from now I will dig it up and unwrap as if it were a pressure-triggered, sensitive, homemade plastic explosive...because, essentially, that is what it will become.

The connection between the filler, which is milk, and the label, which shows a plate of chocolate-chip cookies, should be obvious. If it isn't, your mother and I should have a talk...your grandmother too.

Don't take that last sentence the way I know some of you will take it,

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Day 102 - Call Me Irresponsible

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Emphasis on "call me"; today's bottle is filled with pages - ripped and rolled - out of a Yellow Pages phone-book. Freshman year in college, while living in the dorms, my roommate and I had an affinity to overindulge in free items. The fortune cookie story is probably my favorite, but unrelated to this post. Instead, let me tell you about the phone-books. One day, on my way in from class, I see stacks upon stacks of phone books in the common area of our dorm. I think the idea was to take one per room but, after a few days had passed and there were still stacks of books up for grabs, we started sneaking two or three back to our room every time we walked by the lounge. Pretty soon we had developed quite the library (see the "P.S. Pics" below).

Emphasis on "irresponsible"; last night I left my post a bit short. It is kind of a faux pas to blog about how you only blog about how sorry you are for not blogging more, but I am sorry for the abrupt post last night. My night went as follows; work all day, come home, post, sleep, work all morning. There was barely enough time to make my bed, but in case you feel cheated, I will edit yesterday's post immediately.

The horse on the bottle has an expression on his face that says, "are you serious?" It's like he's disappointed in me, teasing me with his mushed up face. I also chose this bottle because I had originally thought of shredding the phone-book pages. If done like this, the bottle would have appeared to be full of straw. And horses eat straw...yup.

Call me,

P.S. - The library of North A, Second Floor...

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A teaser for the aforementioned "fortune cookie story"...

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Day 101 - Complete Tulle [EDIT]

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So now I feel like this post has been teased up. It's kind of like when your buddy, in front of a bunch of people you've just met, tells you to tell "that one story" or "that one joke". Wow, now the stage is set and the audience is expecting something huge. If you are reading this after the edit without having read the original post, skip this paragraph. I probably should have said that from the start.

Well, to be honest, there is a lot I wanted to say about this post and a lot of sentiment I wanted to pour on top. And, well, to be honest still, I am running late due to Jones-a-Day...again.

First of all, the correct pronunciation of "tulle" is "tool", in case the title confused you. Tulle is a crafting material, defined as "a thin, fine, machine-made net of acetate, nylon, rayon, or silk". F.Y.I.

Secondly, and nearly finally, the pink fluff was provided by Stevie who, along with her sister and family, have become dedicated to the Jones-a-Day cause; filling me with great ideas for filler and meaningful words of praise. If the posts have seemed to become longer, more meditated, it is because of them. Thanks, girls.

So the picture on the label. I'm not sure if it can be said that she is known for taking similar shots, but some of the first pictures I had ever seen of Stevie are of a comparable nature; at the beach, jumping in the air and timing the shutter just right. The pink netting makes me think of girly things, makes me think of a room with a pink and green color scheme, makes me think of the one who donated it to me; as if I wasn't thinking about her already.

I've added some "P.S. Pics" to make up for the delay,

P.S. - Poof, there it is...

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Day 100 - Jones-Centennial

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How many pennies fit into a Jones Soda bottle?

None. A penny is 19mm in diameter. The opening to a Jones bottle is a hair or two less than that, no kidding. Each penny, all 531 of them, had to be slightly bent using a bench-vice. Five dollars and thirty-one cents. That's two really lousy beers and a fine tip, or one really fine beer and a lousy tip. That's just over two gallons of gas. A four-pack of Jones Soda. What's $5.31 to me? One-point-five hours of bending pennies, one-by-one, in a dirty, humid workshop.

But, hey, this should be a celebration. 100 days, that is, 100 bottles of unique fillers. So, to all my visitors, all seven of my followers, to each and every one of you checking daily, thank you. If my hit-counter wasn't moving the way it has been, I don't know if I could justify spending so much time and money on this project. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions, the advice, and the encouragement. Here's to 100 bottles passed and to 265 to come.

Normally I'm not a fan of bottles with people's faces on them, but this bottle screamed "party". I find that a colorful smattering of balloons always provokes celebratory feelings. When has a bunch of balloons like the ones on the label ever been used in negative connotations? In fact, when have balloons ever not been used to commemorate something happy and positive? Never...or, always...I don't know, that last sentence was poorly put together and had enough negatives to make your high school English teacher blush. But you know what I mean.

Moving on, if you haven't been able to tell, five posts in two days is enough to burn-out even the most avid blogger. So, why pennies? A penny is one cent. "Cent"; one-hundredth of a monetary unit. Cent, in French, means 100. Cento in Italian. Words like "century" or "centennial" make references to a the number 100.

When you think about it, the filler really makes cents,

P.S. - Every once in a while I am reminded of how much work is put into filling these bottles. Let my hands speak for me...

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Day 99 - Have You Any Wool?

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So last night, late last night, a friend pointed out that I was a post behind. Reeling, I had to think. How can I be behind? I just posted three day's worth of bottles. Then, duh, it hit me. I had missed three days, yes, but I also owed for the current day. It's kind of like when you count how many people are in your party and you neglect to count yourself. Sincerely, I am sorry. Especially since I had just pledged to be more punctual and consistent with my posts.

Today's bottle - er, I mean - yesterday's bottle is filled with steel wool. The grade of wool is very fine, very smooth and used to polish metal I'm pretty sure. Thus it looks more like really matted, nappy hair. Or black cotton candy.

In reality I chose steel wool because, while working on today's real post, I came across a bagful of the very fine, "flexible abrasive", steel wool. But for the purpose of story-telling I'll pretend I chose the filler for other reasons. On the spot, if forced to, I'd tell you all that I chose steel wool because I, like a bad sheep, had strayed from my flock (i.e. Jones-a-Day) for so long. Baa on me!

I'm writing too much considering I'm in kind of a hurry. The label shows a solitary girl sitting in a barren field watching the horizon. I got a very "farmland" sort of feeling with this picture; farms lead to livestock, livestock leads to sheep, sheep lead to wool. Cycle complete.

See you in a bit,

Monday, August 17, 2009

Day 98 - Take Me Out to the Ballgame

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Ah, how perfect is this trio of posts? Really, I just thought about it. We start our meal with camping; what a perfect appetizer to an all-American trilogy. Main course? Golfing; a more world-wide, but still patriotic past-time. Now what? Baseball? The only thing we need now is a slice of apple pie and a Big Mac.

Day 98's bottle is full of a variety of things, but we'll discuss that in a minute. Let's get to the story of a perfect day full of bright sun, pretty girls, fruity drinks, and baseball. It started with free tickets to a Tigers game, thanks Tammy! It continued with a car-ride, thanks again, Tammy, and proceeded with my first beer and my first hot-dog at my first ever Tigers game. One item off my bucket list, only 99 more to go.

Then it was off to Dave and Buster's; a sort-of Chuck E. Cheese's for adults. This is where the filler comes in. After two or three ours of food, games, and laughs it was time to exchange our tickets. This is where the cute girls I had mentioned before started brainstorming. What about a Jones filled with Dave and Buster's carnival tickets? Not only was I tickled that they were so dedicated to my project, but impressed with the idea for filler. It had not even crossed my mind. Problem though, the fine people at D and B's were not so cooperative handing over a bagful of tickets. No, not even the discarded, shredded ones. They kept feeding us this bull about how they have to account for every ticket won and spent, but I think they were afraid of being scammed. You should have seen how hard my lady-friends fought for these tickets. They begged the cashier, pleaded with the attendant, and petitioned a manager. Stevie even tried to pawn off a $20 game card to a few customers in exchange for tickets. No go.

Who's laughing now? They should have given us the scrapped tickets because, after being refused, we went on a rampage taking everything that wasn't bolted down. I'm pretty sure we came out ahead. For a complete inventory of borrowed items, see the "P.S. Pics" below.

Today's bottle is filled with the following. Two D and B plastic bags, a Dave and Buster's rechargeable game card (remaining balance unknown), and 35 Dave and Buster's two-point coupons. I'm not positive what exactly is happening in the picture on the label, but I do see the giant stadium lights of a baseball field in the background. It appears to be a dad, sporting a baseball cap, with his son gripped onto his shoulders. The connection here, I feel, is obvious.

So, really, can you blame me for taking a few days off?

Would you turn down camping with a special someone, golfing with your father, or an afternoon of baseball and carnival games?

Didn't think so,

P.S. - Complete inventory of D and B pilferage; 62 two-point coupons, three rechargeable game cards, receipt from our meal, receipt from the purchase of a $10 game card, ticket exchange receipt, two D and B plastic bags, 38 D & B winners cup (yes, 38), and foliage stolen from the tree outside. Not seen here are a matchbook and a Hershey's bar wrapper from a bite-sized, cookies n' cream Hershey bar...

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A closer shot of all our stuff, matchbook and candy wrapper included...

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Go Tigers!

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Day 97 - FORE!

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Okay, on the second day of truancy...

Golfing - another absolutely wholesome, absolutely American past-times. Once a year a small outing is hosted by the Gracewil Country Club. All the leagues affiliated with the course, my dad's included, are invited out to play 18-holes of golf followed by a free little luncheon. This year was my second year and, although last year was fun, this year's outing was exceptionally better.

The game, that is, the 18-holes were played as a four-man scramble. What this means to the non-enthusiast is that every golfer hits a ball. Then, the foursome decides whose ball is best and all four hit from where that ball is. This continues until the pitter-patter of a putt being sank. The thing that made this outing even better was that the other half of our foursome didn't show up; it was just dad and I. We got two shots at every ball. We only ended up using a dozen of my shots, but regardless, he and I came in two under par.

So today's filler serves two purposes. One; on this day I was out golfing and doing, if I say so myself, a bang-up job. Making shots, chipping, putting, and driving like I never expected myself to do. Two; this bottle is the first Jones my father has ever drank. Odd, it took almost 100 days for my dad to catch the Jones Soda wave.

Today's filler is golf tees. Some old, some new, some white, tan, green, some orange. Dedicated to my dad's love of the game and to a great day on the links.

Keep swinging,

P.S. - Also, unlike last year, this year both dad and I walked away with prizes. Our score won us nothing, but he and I each won separate awards. He had left one of his tee shots about a foot from the pin. This ball had a real chance of rolling in. Because of this he won "Closest to the Pin" - as a reward he got a Whitecaps cap and a Frisbee. I won a more embarrassing award; "Shortest Drive". As a reward I got a Coca-Cola cap and a matching t-shirt...

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Thought I'd throw this in too. My dad has little confidence in his chipping, but then again, who doesn't? This is him immediately after putting about four yards from the fringe...yeah, I said putting. Like, with a putter. That far from the green? You're crazy...

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Day 96 - Blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-alcohol

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Don't let the title fool you, the lack of posts has nothing to do with alcohol. In fact, although a beer or two have been consumed over the past three days, my absence has had nothing to do with being inebriated. The first omitted entry, which should have followed immediately after the helicopter post, came about because of a trip up North. Shortly after day 95's post with the spinning seedlings, I packed my bags and headed out to pick up Stevie. All things considered - the sunset, the movie, the reading, the warm Sloppy Joe, the kisses and cuddles - it was a good, good night.

What does beer have to do with the day's goings-on? Not a lot, really. Yes, a warm, meaty, saucy, sloppy sandwich isn't complete without a cold beer, but in reality this post is more of an ode to camping in general. The drinking fountains on the label reminded me of something you'd see in a public park. The copper-tasting, stale, lukewarm water which spews into these municipal troughs brings forth ideas of campsites. And what is camping? To me, camping is sitting around a fire even if it isn't roaring. It's putting up with mosquitoes buzzing in your ear. It's playing cards in the shelter of a camper or tent while it pours relentlessly outside. It is hot-dogs and s'mores. It's a cold beer and a good joke.

It's worrying about nothing and finding tranquility in everything,

P.S. - Hmmm...a beer flavored Jones Soda...crazier things have happened (i.e. a Turkey and Gravy flavored soda).

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Couldn't let this picture go to waste. A giant cookie, a mound of frosting and a cute message, "Just Because You're Mitch". Posting it here just because she's Stevie : )

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Baggage Claim

I feel like every time a posts starts without a picture of a bottle that the first impression everyone gets is that this is over. If you feel that way about this post, I don't blame you; I feel the same way too. It is so strange posting here without a picture of a Jones, and while I type this I can't help but imagine what I would say if it were the end. This is not the end, not a submission, not a change in the rules which allows me to only post once or twice a week. No. This post is more inspirational in nature. A rejuvenation of Jones-a-Day. I feel the need to explain my absence, so I will do so in the posts that follow later this afternoon. I've become aware that there are an increasing number of people dropping by daily, which both excites and unnerves me. The pressure is on now. Now that I know the word is out, I am thrilled about my project but feel awful that I've been so busy enjoying what little summer we have left. Just as a lot of people were getting into the daily groove of Jones-a-Day, I turned the record off; leaving them standing, swaying back-and-forth, snapping their fingers to a rhythm that's not there. Sorry if I made you look foolish, here, let me turn the dial to "11".

So I've used the term loosely before, but I am back from what I am calling a vacation. The plane has landed, passengers un-boarded, and my bags have been claimed. Jones-a-Day will be taking on more responsibilities, will be more punctual, and will, hopefully, be even more enjoyable to everybody following.

I do apologize for the tardiness, but do not regret being absent. If you've followed regularly before, please don't give up now.

I haven't,

Saturday, August 15, 2009

No White Flag

Things happen. I say "things" because, so far, this is a relatively PG blog. But things happen. Before I start I should clear something up; this is not a resignation letter. This is not me giving up, turning in, calling it quits. This is no white flag. Things happen.

So the past month the "Jones-a-Day" has been more like "Jones-Every-Other-Day". I keep taking two steps forward, pausing, then two steps again. I thought today would be no different. I planned on posting two bottles tonight; one for Friday's bottle and one for today's. I've been forced to do this a lot lately. Days seem to vanish when you smile this much, hours pass in seconds. Soon, whole days are gone and I am left struggling to keep up.

This is where we stand. The line in the sand, if you will. I need to post two bottles today to make up for the lack of yesterday's and to post on-time for today's. Easy enough. I have plenty of bottles, plenty of filler, and plenty of ideas for filler. But guess what...yes, things happen. Before leaving from up North I decided to leave my camera with Stevie so she could take pictures. Well, that puts Jones out of commission for yet another night; possibly another day. By the time the next post comes, there might be four or five pics at once. Can you imagine?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Day 95 - You Spin Me Right 'Round

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I can't be sure that it is a nationally accepted term, but in this part of the country we call these seeds "helicopters" on account of their nature to twirl downward from the tree off which they fell. For now they are green and, for the most part, they are complete pairs. In honor of the upcoming centential post, I stopped stuffing the leafing blades into the bottle at number 100. That is, if counting each pair of "wings" as one, there are 100 pairs in this bottle. 200 helicopters if counted separately.

The image on the bottle reminds me of swing sets and the feeling of my feet rushing past the ground below me. I think of green, grassy fields and tall trees that scatter the ground with acorns, leaves, and these seed cases that spin wildly out of control as they fall to Earth.

I have a feeling it's going to be a good, good night,

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Day 94 - Really Old Grapes

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So, back in high school, I filled this bottle with grapes. I found the bottle behind the deck today and, lo-and-behold, it is now full of raisins! Crazy.

False. This bottle was not filled back in high school, in fact it was filled less than twenty minutes ago. And, duh, it wasn't filled with grapes it was actually filled with raisins. If they look funny, frosted, or moldy it is because the visible raisins were taken from a brand new box of Raisin Bran cereal; now I am left with a giant bowl of 100% bran, yum.

In this bottle, as I have mentioned repeatedly above, is raisins. It took an entire box's worth of raisins from Raisin Bran cereal and four of the individual, "snack-pack" boxes of un-frosted raisins. Purposely, the less cool, more lame, sugarless raisins were put behind the label where they couldn't be seen.

I had to make a special trip to the store to buy this bottle because I was completely out of Jones. The soda was consumed, the bottle was washed, dried, filled, and photographed within a thirty minute span. Stevie helped pick out some bottles with me, she even sprung for the next week's worth of posts (xoxo).

Wow, this is going on for way, way, too long. The label-filler connection goes as follows; everyone knows what happens to skin after a relaxing bath. It wrinkles. Shrivels up like a prune. Raisin-izes you.

I'm so hitting that bran in the morning,

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Day 93 - Fluffy Filler

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Man, with every post the mental clog gets thicker and thicker. The idea of writer's block is quickly being eclipsed by a much bigger, much harsher writer's wall. A complete blockade between mind and fingertips. How many ways can these letters be arranged? How many combinations of words are possible? The number of potential sentences, paragraphs, posts is as close to infinite as a number can get.

So you can see my dilemma. Today's bottle is filled with cotton-balls. What is there to say about cotton? It's white. It is fluffy. What more is there?

I dig the black-and-whiteness of this bottle. The label features a picture of some girl, smiling with hair tossed outwards towards the camera. When I think cotton-balls I think make-up, face wash, nail polish. I think soft and gentle. I think girls.

Sweet dreams, blogger-land,

P.S. - The first Jones-a-Day embedded video! It's very related and very much worth a watch. "Don't go back there! You're going to see more cotton than you wanna see!"

Monday, August 10, 2009

Day 91 / 92 - Summer Days and, oh, oh Those Summer Nights

I feel so Sarah Jessica Parker right now. Sitting in a plush bed with lots of pillows, hundreds of photos strewn about the walls, a color scheme; typing in my pajamas on a tiny MacBook with its incandescent, pearly, heavenly glow - very "Sex in the City". My inner monologue running vocally in my head, recounting the romantic escapades of the day.

So, as you may have noticed, there will be two bottles on today's post. Reason? Well, I did it on purpose so that the number of posts was equal to the number of bottles...yeah, that's it. Since my first post upped my post count by one I had to double up on this post to catch up.

Okay, that horribly worded bologna above was a lie. In reality, the Earth is moving much too quickly around the sun and the summer is coming to an end. With new-found happiness comes ample opportunities to have fun, relax, and smile. I love my Jones-a-Day project, but would take the rainiest, laziest afternoon with her over anything.

So, on to the pics.

Day 92 - She Sells Seashells

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Lake in a bottle, that's the best description I got. Tiny shells, small rocks, bits of twigs and seaweed, and a pinch of sand. Add a residual moisture from the collection process and you have a swampy, fishy, grimy, gritty mess of a bottle. I imagine after a few days the inside of this bottle will be rancid with the smell of dead fish and swan urine. It's a cool looking bottle in real life, don't get me wrong, but when collecting the shells there was a giant, dead, bloated fish being lapped by waves a yard away from me. Kind of left a bad taste in my mouth and an even worse connotation in my mind.

Day 91 - Acorny Post
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Get it? A corny post? Ah, forget it, that was lame and unfunny.

I felt like a child today - that is, I should say - I felt more like a child today than usual. While up North at the lake there were these two kids staying in the camper with us. Real young like, juvenile. Pull-ups young. Anyway, somehow they got it in their heads that the acorns they found all over the campground were worth $1 apiece. So they went nuts collecting the tiny nuggets of gold. And, somehow, I got it in my head that the acorns would be a great Jones filler. I think a little bird told me, now that I think about it :). So I hobbled around in the dirt, hunched over looking for these acorns with these two whipper-snappers. It was a rough task considering I had to share what I had found with them; I only took in a third of what I actually picked up. They ended up giving me their collections, so I ended up with a shoebox full of un-needed but much appreciated acorns.

It was fun, though.

It's getting late and there are more pressing things to attend to. I feel like I am getting a little scatter-brained, perhaps a bit distracted.

But that's what cute girls will do to you,

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Day 90 - So Fresh, So Clean

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This is not what I had originally planned for this bottle, but something suddenly came up. Really, something came up suddenly. So, in a pinch, I turn to pilfering things that are around the house. In this case a bottle's worth of Tide liquid laundry detergent. Blue and bubbly, gelatinous. Had I more time, I'd shake the bottle up for you.

Gotta go,

Friday, August 7, 2009

Day 89 - Down and Dirty

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Let's not get into semantics here. Dirt, sand, earth, soil, terra firma; it all means the same thing to most people. The only one I'd argue about is the term "sand". Yes, on the surface it looks like sand, but I would never call the soil in this bottle "sand". It is more of a silty, clay loam. Didn't I say we weren't going to argue semantics? Oops.

Collected this "sample" from under the deck surrounding the pool in my backyard. The label filler connection is obvious; a person leaping across a small gap in some rocky outcroppings or whatnot. I'm sure there's a technical name for the geologically structure, but that's another debate for another time. Rocks, sand, earth, etc.

Rock on,

Oh, P.S. - So I knew that Jones made a cola soda, that is, a cola flavored pop but had never tried it until today. I must have had this bottle for a while and I was under the impression that it was a root beer. This is the first Jones cola I've ever had...not bad.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Day 88 - Perhaps Peter Picked a Peck of Pickles

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Presently, popular positions, platforms promoted by prevailing parables, persuade people into presuming that Peter Pepper, a prominent personality, procured a peck of pickled peppers post-pick. Peculiar; Peter Pepper was pegged for pecking at a pack of pungent, plump, pickles.

Today's bottle is filled with what is most likely a mixture of water, salt, seasoning, and vinegar. I'm not sure what most people do with the leftover pickle juice once the container is empty, but for some reason, there were nearly three jars of the acrid juice in my family's fridge. I had a bottle with a man taking out a bag of trash and couldn't help but think, "why haven't these been thrown out yet?"

Voila, new Jones,

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Day 87 - Now THAT'S a Spicy Meatball

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A lot of the other bottles I have marked with the Jones-a-Day official "didn't turn out the way I had hoped" stamp. This bottle, however, gets the Jones-a-Day official "turned out better than I had expected" stamp. Normally tall, un-malleable objects make horrible filler as they do not technically fill the bottle. Don't believe me? See the post on Day 64.

The bottle for today is filled with uncooked spaghetti noodles. Unlike the straws in the "Suck it Up" post, the noodles could be snapped in half. This allowed me to fill the bottle more completely although the noodles were not very malleable.

The label and filler connection is obvious. The label shows a poor, defenseless baby being boiled alive along with spaghetti noodles. How the people at Jones Soda could let such a sick, violent inhumane thing be on a label is beyond me...Just kidding of course. The baby in the pot of spaghetti is adorable.

Well, off to bed. Work in 8.5 hours,

P.S. - Can't say much about these without letting our secret out...10 bowling pin and 2 bowling ball cupcakes :) ...

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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Day 86 - Yes, It Does Taste Like Apple

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I've gone and done it again, left myself with no time to discuss the day's bottle. As quickly and concisely as possible, let me explain. Today's bottle is filled with Apple Jacks cereal, you know, the one that is a paradox because it does not taste like apple. Well, I chose this bottle to house this cereal for two reasons. One, the flavor was Green Apple; one that tastes exactly like biting into a crisp, sugary, tangy apple. Two, the tree on the label made me think of the apple trees that grow in my backyard. Apple trees, apple flavor, Apple Jacks; full circle.

I wanted to call today's post "The Cap That Was Never Read" because, as you all know, I can't let myself read the cap unless I have personally drank the entire soda. I was forced to pour the soda into a glass as I did not have the time to drink the rest of it. I filled the bottle and placed the cap on top. Even if I end up drinking the rest of the Jones, I can't unseal the bottle. Poor cap.

Remember to smile today. Think of something or someone that makes you happy.


Monday, August 3, 2009

Day 85 - Rain Delay

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I have sighed more contently and smiled more vigorously in the past several days than I have all summer long. No matter what is happening, no matter what song is on, no matter where I am, even at work, I catch myself grinning for what seems to be no reason. Even now my hands shake, the butterflies in my stomach burst from their cocoons, and a thousand words of a cotton-candy caliber bounce around in my head. Ah, summer days.

So forgive me for the tardiness on the past few posts. I have not grown apathetic, I have not run out of ideas, and I have not given up hope. I've simply been busy begging Father Time for one more minute, a tiny pause in the sands for one last, heart-stopping, quick kiss before I have to say "goodnight".

I'm happy with today's bottle on both regards; the label matches the filler in both the imagery sense and the mental sense. The bottle is filled with dried pine needles collected from around the trees in our backyard. The image on the label is of a fishing pole, a close-up on the reel with the line bobbing in a pond that hides in the background. Grass shoots up around the reel. The great outdoors, sitting in the wet grass to cast a line or, in my case, sitting in the wet grass to fill a bottle with pine needles.

I don't know, I'm too happy for words right now,

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Day 84 - Bedrock

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Imagine filling a bottle with confetti pieces. You stack the confetti so that the bottle appears to be full. But the moment someone picks of the bottle and playfully shakes it, the tiny fragments move around, slide through air space, and now your "full" bottle is opening up.

Before my mind melts away to nothingness as my sleeping medication kicks in, the bottle is filled with Fruity Pebbles cereal. The picture on the label shows a very damp scene. This reminded me of the last, soggy Fruity Pebble floating in the bowl...

Holy, moly, I am not here right,