Monday, December 28, 2009
Yes, yes, I cannot even contain myself while I write this, but yes, that is my brother, my sister, and I on the label of this bottle. I am on a freaking Jones bottle! In case you don't know or are confused, I am the medium-sized blond one on the far right. In the middle is my brother, Jeff, and the tiny bundle of smiles on the left is my sister, Emily.
Introductions aside, I am on a Jones bottle. For the first time in my life, for the fist time in Jones-a-Day history, I am featured on the label of the iconic Jones Soda. How did I end up in such a lucky scenario? Well, it all starts with a girl named Stevie. Knowing how much this projects means to me, and being the amazingly thoughtful and beautiful person she is, ordered me a six-pack of custom Jones Soda for the holidays. She sent in one of my all-time favorite photos featuring my siblings and I in traditional Korean garb, wrote a seasonal greeting for the back of each bottle, and wrapped them up carefully in a basket of all my family's favorite candies. By far my favorite and the most thoughtful gift I've ever received.
Inside the bottle is this amazing blue, wrapping paper. The material is somewhere between wrapping paper and tissue paper, and is slightly transparent. It is left over from the piles of gifts I received from her family.
With its brilliant shade of blue, shimmer, and sparkly little snowflakes, it reminds me of what a wonderful year it has been,
P.S. - A shot of the amazing label...
And, in addition to showering us with candies and presents, Stevie also baked up this platter of never-ending goodness. Included in this bundle are little balls of heaven; crushed Oreo cookies, rolled up with a cheesecake-like filling, and dipped in chocolate...amazing...
Not as if there were a lack of snow this year, because there was plenty, but this bottle is filled with fake snow. Similar to fake spiderweb, fake snow has a very cotton-candy-like texture. However, the fake snow is thicker and includes little flecks of translucent confetti to give the material a little shimmer.
Check out the "P.S. Pics" for a side-by-side comparison with the actual snow in Day 208.
In my opinion, the fake snow is doing quite a good job, actually,
P.S. - Side-by-side, faux and fo-real...
Not actually streamers, per se, but the brightly colored, pinkish-hued, pearlescent Easter-grass-like stings remind me of the streamers that little girls have on the handlebars of their bikes. Found in the basement of Stevie's old house, I quickly snagged the bag and smuggled it home. This label was chosen because I imagined the streets of New York city after New Year's Eve; littered with streamers, confetti, party hats and whistles.
The pearl-like glossy ribbon looks so much better in real life; rotating the bottle under the light shows the true beauty of the little strings of fake-grass.
Two-two-two taken care of,
P.S. - Many of you may be wondering what else I've been up to in my absence. Besides work and dreading going to work, I finally sent my XBOX 360 back in to be repaired. Microsoft no longer provides you with a box or shipping material, so I was concerned about my baby being hurt. Moreover, I was worried that Microsoft is going to find a way to charge me, fine me, or hold my unit for ransom. I made sure it was going to be okay. I wrapped the system entirely in bubble wrap, lined the box with larger-bubbled wrap, and put air-cushions on both the top and bottom on the unit. It all fit snuggly in the box. You could drop this package from the roof and I'd be confident the contents would be safe. See for yourself...
I hope I haven't lost any of you, and I appreciate your patience as I return to a normal schedule. I come today with as many bottles as I can muster. I know today's post is not a fraction of what I owe, and it pains me to say that it might have to be that way for a few more days. I am done with the 40-hour weeks and honestly have five-or-six easy, thoughtful, unique fillers on hand; but I am out of bottles. My two main Jones suppliers have had the same four lousy bottles for weeks and, since I cannot post duplicates, I am stuck in limbo until they receive more.
I know I owe nearly a dozen bottles, maybe more, but until I can get my hands on new bottles in an affordable fashion, I'm kinda S.O.L. And, unfortunately, so are my loyal fans.
But here's what I have for you. To try and compensate for the lack of bottles I will increase the size of my descriptions and include some more personal things going on right now. Christmas is over and it was one for the record-books; thanks to my family, Stevie, and her family for everything and showing me a wonderful Christmas. I worked three back-to-back weeks at the biggest toy store there is (i.e. Toys "R" Us) and was feeling quite burnt out. Aside from Christmas Day, today marked my first day off practically all month.
I know X-mas isn't about the gifts, but I got more than I could ever ask for and then some. If you add the sentimental values and the fact that I'll have candy and sweets well into June, it had to have been the best Christmas ever.
Included in my giant stocking from Stevie, along with an insane amount of candy, hot sauce, coffees, and more, were boxes upon boxes of "candy cigarettes". You know, the little sticks of pure sugar that kind of resemble cigarettes? Officially called "Candy Sticks" or "Batonnets de Bonbon". On each box a different Marvel superhero. What does Spiderman have to do with candy sticks? Beats me.
There is no F.T.L.C. here, and as long as I'm being frank, I was saving this label for an AMAZING filler.
Desperate times, desperate measures,
P.S. - Alternate angles...
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Think of the Jones bottle as a cocoon. The caterpillar inside, as we speak, is growing. Changing, evolving, whatever you want to call it. Only this caterpillar is not changing into a butterfly, no. According to the package it is growing into a giant, viscous, angry, hungry caterpillar.
See the "P.S. Pics",
P.S. - We've got another one...
You can order free boxes and other shipping goods from the United States Postal Service. Which makes me wonder why they sell their boxes and shipping goods for arms and legs inside the USPS shipping centers. Anyways, when you order your boxes, envelopes, stickers, etc they make you check an agreement box saying that you will be using the products for shipping and only shipping. I hope it's not a federal crime, but I ordered a roll of these first-class mail stickers, for free, from the USPS site and didn't exactly use them to mail anything.
P.S. - The label-to-filler-connection should be obvious, what with the bald eagle on the label and all.
An impromptu filler after last night's dinner. Why not fill a bottle with pineapple juice? Brilliant. Fast, easy, and free; and something that would be otherwise disposed of.
The pulp is thick but settles quickly.
No F.T.L.C. here,
P.S. - Shake it up a bit...
Okay, so here we are roughly 28 hours later and our little grasshopper is now of mutant proportions. The incredible growing insect takes up to 72 hours to reach its fully-grown adult stage, so look forward to yet another update within the next couple of days.
Take a look at the label. A man jumps from hay-bale to hay-bale, "grass-hopping" so to speak.
P.S. - Take a look at the growth so far...
And the pictures prior to the latest update...
Friday, December 11, 2009
Forgive the inside joke in the title, but it was necessary.
Instead of relaxing and staying some place warm over her Fall break, Stevie took an alternative break to a reservation in South Dakota. I'm sure I'll screw up the terminology here, but she helped out with various construction work including installing wood-flooring, insulation work, and "skirting" trailers.
Anyways, while she was away, I couldn't help but think of her. And, while she was away, I know she couldn't stop thinking of me. Not only did she sport a soccer shirt I wore in elementary school with "Mitchell" scrawled across the front, but she brought me home two wooden blocks from the construction site for my project.
P.S. - I used a power-drill to bore out holes in the blocks and collected the shavings to put in the bottle. Yes, I've done "sawdust" before in a previous bottle, but this isn't sawdust...it's drill-dust and it is special...
A look at the "skirting"...
And a peek inside the joke...
Kind of a thing, isn't it? Nachos, chips and salsa, taco night; all special occasions with one thing in common - tortilla chips.
In this bottle, which by now should be obvious, is broken tortilla chips. Chosen because I imagine the two girls on the label on vacation somewhere warm, somewhere nice, somewhere where eating chips and salsa is a standard form of relaxation.
I'd like to be there right now.
Warm and relaxed is not exactly how I feel right now,
P.S. - Forgive the screen in the picture. I would have taken in off, but it's a bit chilly outside right now...
It was never "cherry" Kool-aid, was it? It was never, "Mom, I would like cherry Kool-aid, please". No, it was "red" Kool-aid. Not strawberry, not cherry, not watermelon. Red; obviously the best Kool-aid ever.
In this bottle is my favorite Kool-aid made to my specifications. Yes, this is the first bottle that was drunk out of twice; once when I consumed the soda, and twice while testing the Kool-aid inside. I like mine more sweet, with lots of sugar.
And, preferably, red,
So on Day 150 I introduced you all to one of my favorite cereals; the traditional All-Bran in the "stick form". To follow up, today's bottle features the All-Bran in "bit" or "bud" form. A great addition to yogurt or other cereal for a little extra boost of fiber.
But why this label? Yes, it is one of those circumstances where I don't have a lot of bottles and, thus, not a lot of choice in which filler goes in which label. But remember the cat food in Day 39? Well, if not, click the link in the previous sentence. Doesn't the cat food in that bottle have a striking resemblence to the human food in this one?
The cat on the label is a little joke because the food inside is human food. The human food is a joke because it looks like cat food. The cat food was a joke because was in a bottle with a dog on the label.
Two bottles connected in at least three ways.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The problem with today's post is that I like this bottle. The problem with that? I am still a day behind and am fighting for time and money. There is a lot on my mind lately; finals approaching at school, holiday hours at work, Christmas shopping, and being nearly broke. All this adds up to little time, little money, and a lot of stress.
For example, take my weekly schedule. Sunday: work 4:00pm to midnight. Monday: school. Tuesday (today): work 3:30pm to 12:30am. Wednesday: school. Thursday - Saturday: work until 12:30am. Phew, barely time to breathe.
I am running out of money which means few bottles to choose from and cheap filler. This filler was free, provided by my brother, Jeff. While he was out of the country on business it seemed like this kid got three packages a day. One cardboard box was enough to fill a bottle.
I thought it was fitting since I did 90% of my holiday shopping online.
Let's hope it all gets here on time,
P.S. - Flagrant advertising...
I want to keep this one simple, I just wish there were lyrics to the presidential anthem or a way I could have "Hail to the Chief" play only when someone is looking at this post.
Big, big thanks to Tammy for my Obama bottles. And, also, a big, big thanks for everything you do for us. Come home safely, and come home soon.
Yes, I did say "bottles" as in plural. Look forward to the occasional Barack Bonus Bottle from time-to-time.
This Commander-in-Chief bottle is filled with four miniature American flags.
Bonus - A close-up on the label...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
4oz apple cider
1 oz vodka
1 slice of apple
Caramel-apple dipping sauce
Pour apple cider and vodka over ice in a shaker. Add a pinch of cinnamon and shake well. Wet the edge of a mug and rim with powdered sugar. Strain contents of shaker into mug and microwave until warm. Dip slice of apple into caramel-apple dipping sauce and float in mug.
Warm, apple strudel cider.
To celebrate the season, Stevie threw a Winter-themed party featuring sweet treats, Christmas movies, and tasty cocktails.
The man on the label appears to have consumed more mugs of cider than he should have.
Yes, Aunt Kay, it is snow. It was a long Autumn, we were spoiled with beautiful weather and a lack of ice, snow, and slush. Then, one night, everything changed. We went from no snow at all to over eight inches over night.
This bottle marks the first snowfall of the season. Inside this bottle is snow collected from the ground from this first downfall.
I hope you understand why this picture was late. I wasn't at my house so couldn't take a proper picture. I didn't want to fill it with snow, take a bad picture, and not get a chance to get a decent shot before the snow melted.
Connection is obvious,
P.S. - The snow melts...
After the initial snow melted completely, I added more to fill the bottle properly with "snow"...which is now nothing but water...
I don't really have anything for this bottle. I felt like the neon green from the fake, glow-in-the-dark spider web was a good match for the label. I don't have an explanation for this "feeling", call it instinct.
In my opinion, it doesn't look half bad,
So, to keep this one short, the filler for this bottle is brown paper. Doesn't sound exciting or meaningful, but I didn't mention that it is special brown paper. I've been waiting a long time for my new street board to arrive. I made an order on Labor Day for a new cruising skateboard and a new street skateboard. The cruising board came quickly, but every time I checked my email or the website I was reminded that the new Girl board was back-ordered.
Well, it finally arrived; wrapped safely in a box with the brown paper seen in this bottle. On the label two important things to note; 1) a girl and 2) a skateboard. My Girl brand skateboard came mailed wrapped in this brown paper.
P.S. - The new Girl...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
I wasn't lying when I said I would milk the eight-dollar bag of Jolly Ranchers for all it was worth. This bottle is filled with melted Jolly Ranchers. In real life there is a nice stained-glass window type of effect. See the "P.S. Pics" for my attempt to show this phenomena.
I chose the label because I thought the color scheme on the label would match the colors of the melted candy.
It totally does,
P.S. - The stained-glass effect...